Because to give your heart to another person means giving them the power to make you whole again or break your already damged soul to a million more tiny irrepairable pieces.
Breathe. This is gonna be one hell of a bumpy ride.
"The moment you fall in love feels like it has centuries behind it, generations—all of them rearranging themselves so that this precise, remarkable intersection could happen. In your heart, in your bones, no matter how silly you know it is, you feel that everything has been leading to this, all the secret arrows were pointing here, the universe and time itself crafted this long ago, and you are just now realizing it, you are just now arriving at the place you were always meant to be."
Gone were the days when we would stay up till sunrise, bar hopping and dancing like crazy (or at least they do ‘cause I don’t dance in public unless it’s for school 😋 ). Those days when we would talk and rant about school, lovelife and some other nonsensical stuff. Now we would rather sit in a quiter space, less crowd, less hassle and talk about … well, surprisingly, more mature stuff. It surprised me when we found ourselves talking about the recent calamities, the dirty dirty politics, the people who run the government and the monkey business that seems unending. Instead of school, we talked about jobs, earning money, how to help out our folks. Sure we still talked about the ever suking topic ‘lovelife’, but the preliminary question ‘unsa iyang course?’ , now turned into ‘what does he do for a living?’. We talked about the issues and problems of our families, the hard headed cousins and uncles and aunties. We reminisced. Of how things were then and now.
We used to only hang out on special occasions and only in larger groups. But now, we hang out regardless if we are three, four or more.. as long as we can unwind from our daily stresses with the people who we are forever bonded with. Bonded in what way? Blood and friendship, although as to which bond is stronger, I really don’t know :)) Growing up together at almost the same time with only a few years gap between the 27 of us is more than what we could all hope for. How I wish we could all bond again soon… but then again December’s almost here, so that means it’ll be very very soon :))
On another note.. back then, I used to wake up from nights like this feeling great and ecstatic… but now, I feel guilty as hell. Not for staying up late, but for… for breaking some rules. Tsk. Why is temptation so hard to say no to? 😭
"Each of us needs something of an island in his life—if not an actual island, at least some place, or space in time, in which to be himself, free to cultivate his differences from others."